Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Insecurity, thy name is hok

I'm suffering an extreme case of insecurity and self-doubt. I have a post written about my adeventure yesterday chaperoning Ella's class field trip to the Texas Memorial Museum, but I just can't bring myself to post it. I've rewritten it three times, and it's still not quite right.

After my third revision, I realized that I'm worried it's not good enough.

This is new for me. I'm pretty good at recognizing when something isn't written well and either scrapping it all together or doing a major rewrite, all without any major psychic drama. But now I'm blocked.

I think the problem is that I've had several very nice comments and compliments lately from readers. Some are from friends and some are from bloggers whose blogs I read an admire. The compliments have thrown me into a tailspin. Now that I've had positive feedback, I'm terrified that anything I post won't live up to expectations.

Which leads to a further problem - I like receiving positive comments, who wouldn't. But what do I do if I keep getting all locked up every time I receive one?

Maybe I should just shut up and write already.


Anonymous said...

Look at it this way: if you get bad comments or trolls, it means you've hit the big time. So just aspire to the lousy comments. Does that help?

We all get blocked from time to time. Maybe it might help to post about something else completely different first. I'll give you a topic: The Cold War was neither cold nor was it a war. Discuss.

Yeah, yeah, I'm known as a smart aleck.

LTYM said...

Trust me--it's no fun getting comments saying you're a "retarted righter", either.

I've been to the exciting TMM about 100 times (no joke), so please post your piece. I can't wait to see what you think of the pickled frogs.

Seamus O'Pine said...

My favorite response to one of my blogs was "Huh?" That was it. No other comments. And I realized that I had pretty much written shite that day.

For someone who writes as well as you do (even if there IS a missed typo in today's post : ) I know. I'm the devil.), I'm guessing the post in question is pretty darn good.

And if it's not, think of the hope that gives to all your readers. "Wow, even HOK has a bad day sometime. Maybe it's okay for me to suck now and again, too."

Lastly, remember, the stuff you write badly just makes the good stuff look that much more brilliant.

I heart you

t. Cooke said...

I recommend taking a little break from blogging. You don't *have* to blog and if you're not enjoying it then a break is needed. You're output is amazing anyway. I subscribe to many national blogs run by individuals and none come close to your output. Who are you blogging for, anyway? To me, I look at your blog as a instrument of catharsis and a way to keep family and friends updated, but a bigger reason to blog is to document the growth of Ella, Lilly, and Steven. They will appreciate your blog archives when you get older, and they won't notice if you skip a few days.

You deserve a break!!!

ckh said...

I suspect that the real reason you write is for your own self-expression. You write because it's inside of you and just HAS to come out. You write for YOU.

Every writer loves compliments and has bouts of self-doubt, but you wouldn't be a writer if you didn't write, and no one would have an opinion about your work if you didn't and I think that is worse.

Get it out there. The more you do it, the better it becomes all the time. Sometimes I don't post stuff because it just doesn't flow quite right. I'll either revise it another day or move on to the next thing. It's okay.

Just write.

MadMad said...

This is EXACTLY my problem. EXACTLY. You said it - what I haven't been able to express... it's almost like the more readers you get, the harder it is to write.