Scene 1: I'm on the phone with my mother. Lily comes running in.
L: Mom, mom, mom!
H: Not now. I'm on the phone.
L: But I need to tell you something!
H: Lily, I'll talk to in a minute when I'm off the phone.
L: But Campbell's splashing in the potty!
H: $(*%(_)*( Is there pee in the potty?
L: Yes. But no poop.
Gran: Hysterical laughter
Scene 2: Running around trying to get three kids in the car.
H: Ella, after we take Lily to school Miss Kristen is coming over to stay with you and Campbell while I'm at a work meeting.
E: Yay. We can listen to Joe McDermott while Miss Kristen's here!
H: Oh I bet Miss Kristen will just LOVE that.
E: I don't think you meant "love" in the good way.
H: Nope, I sure didn't.