Ella lost her freaking mind last night, just lost it. As a treat, I had gotten special cookies from Russell's bakery. They were flowers: one orange, one pink. Lily picked her cookie first and chose the pink one. After dinner, when Ella picked hers, she got upset because she had to have the orange one. She complained until I told her that if she said one more word Grampa was going to get her cookie. It deteriorated from there. I wanted to take a picture of my dad with all three kids. Lily and Campbell were willing, but Ella sat with her back to the camera. So Ella got sent to her room. When she started screaming and kicking the wall, Brandon heaved her into bed, fully dressed. We were then treated to a half hour of her screaming about how we didn't love her, we only loved Lily and Campbell and she never gets pink cookies. Brandon finally took away this morning's swim lesson as a consequence of her behavior.
At some point she threw a letter in the living room for me. It was addressed to "dlbl poop mom" and the inside said,
I do not like you!
I do not love you!
There's a picture of a cartoon cat on the stationary, and he has a bubble coming out of his mouth that says "You are the worst!"
Enclosed in the note was a scrap of paper that said, sic all:
To dlbl poop pee mom. I donot love you, I do not like you.
Later, after I had gone in and listened to her tale of woe and assured her that I loved her very much despite her behavior, Ella brought out another letter. This one said, again sic all:
You make me think you love lily 100% . You love me 0%, but you are rait it was not wothth it that I will mis simlesins. I am sorey.
There's also a picture of her with a sad face and a tear drop.
When I was in listening to Ella's tears and complaints, my initial reaction was to defend myself by saying things like, "Of course I love you. Of course I don't love your sister and brother more. Yes, you do get to pick the cookie first sometimes. Yes, I have bought you pink flower cookies." But as I was about to open my mouth, I realized it would be pointless to say anything. Ella wasn't going to hear what I was saying. She just needed someone to listen. So I stayed quiet and just rubbed her back while she settled down.
Things are better this morning. I've made sure to give her extra love so that she knows I'm not upset about last night or holding it against her. Even so, despite her note, Ella didn't get to go to swim lessons. I hope she has actually learned something from this experience. I know I have - I'm a double poopy mama.