Sunday, April 06, 2008

Sitting in a tree . . .

I furthered my reputation for motherly omniscience on Friday. We went up to the neighborhood grocery store with our friends the Ks and bought popsicles, which we sat outside and ate. While the kids were running around, mama-K told me that her daughter told her that Ella had kissed a boy after school and they were planning a November wedding. I just cringed.

I don't want either of my daughters to be a boy-crazy girl. Plus, I think seven is too young to be kissing.

While we were eating dinner, I casually said to Ella, "I hear that you and N kissed at the park today after school." The look on her face was classic. She was clearly thinking, "How did she know that??" But she shook her head no. I asked, "You didn't kiss N?" Another head shake. "N didn't kiss you?" Another shake, with a mortified look. I said, "It's ok if you did. I was just curious. I also heard you were having a wedding in November." Her eyes got even bigger at that comment.

I dropped the subject for a few minutes. Then I said, "You know. I think seven is too young to be kissing boys. Holding hands is OK. Hugging a friend is OK, but no kissing. I think you need to be 27 before you can kiss boys." Ella's only protest was, "But that's seven years after I'm a teenager." I shuddered a bit at the thought of Ella's being a teenager.

Later, while she and Lily were getting ready for their shower, I told Ella that if a boy ever wanted to kiss her and she didn't want him to, she was always allowed to say, "My mom says I'm not allowed to." I told her she could blame it all on me. I think she really liked the idea of blaming something on me, based on the slightly wicked grin on her face.

I'm glad I've opened the discussion of boys and kissing now. Perhaps if we are able to keep it up, it will be easier to broach the whole dating and sex thing when she's a bit older. The way things are going, it seems like that time will be sooner rather than later.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well done. I tend to think the whole "sex talk" thing is actually a serious of conversations, bits and pieces here and there, just like what you described here, and that's where our kids will learn our values regarding sex. I hope, anyway. I do know the way NOT to do it, and that's right after telling your 9 year old daughter that there is no Santa or Easter Bunny. Oh, the horror.