Saturday, November 22, 2008

It's not FAIR!

As the girls and I walked home from school on Wednesday, Lily asked if she could eat a lollipop she had gotten from her music teacher. Normally I don't allow candy until they've had a healthy snack after school, but the day was beautiful and I was in a surprisingly good mood, so I said yes.

When we got home, the girls left immediately for a playdate at a friend's house, so Ella didn't have a chance to get a piece of her Halloween candy. That night, after the girls cleaned up the kitchen, Ella asked B if she could have a piece of candy since she didn't get one after school. B told her that she and Lily could both have a piece of candy.

"But that's not fair!" wailed Ella. "Lily had a piece after school, and if she gets another one now, then she got two and I only had one." B told her the choice was up to her - either they both got a piece of candy or no one got candy.

"But that's not fair! If we don't get any candy that means Lily got one after school and I didn't!"

B again told her the choice was up to her - either they both had a piece or no one did. The stress of making that decision turned out to be too much for Ella. She lost.her.sh*t - all over the house.

After giving her several opportunities to stop screaming and settle down, B declared that Lily got a piece of candy and Ella didn't. More hysterics ensued.

I was in the bedroom listening to all of this, staying out of the fray. I knew Ella wouldn't like either of the options because of the unfairness of it. Ever since Lily came on the scene, Ella's main goal in life is to make sure everything between them is exactly even. She doesn't get upset like this with any other person in her life - just her sister.

Another example? Several weekends ago, Ella had a playdate at a friend's house. She spent four hours at this friend's house while Lily had to stay home and play with me and her brother. Later in the day, after Ella was home, a friend dropped by with her daughter, who is a year younger than Lily. Lily and M took off into the back yard to play, leaving Ella behind. Ella promptly started pouting, and I knew exactly what the problem was - Lily was playing with a friend and she wasn't.

When I pointed out that she had played with her friend all morning, she said, "Yes but Lily wasn't there watching me have fun with H. I'm here having to watch her play, and it's not fair."

My friend and I cracked up at that - she was really having to search hard to find the injustice. I told her to go climb a tree or something, which she did, pouting the whole time.

Poor, poor Ella.

1 comment:

katesaid said...

Oh, the tween angst, it is horrible, horrible stuff.

I'm not quite sure how we've avoided the "it's not fair" chorus most of the time... I have to suspect it's because Emily is self-focused enough not to really notice what other people - and Jacob - are getting. [insert eyeroll here]