Better in theory

My good friend over at Peace, Love & Guacamole recently wrote a post with her list of things that she likes better in theory than in reality and asked for readers' lists.

Here are my few items:

1. Converse All-Stars - I would dearly love to wear a pair of Chuck T's, and there's a pair of apple green ones at Nordstrom that I covet, but they make my already long feet look even longer. I'll have to be content with buying them for my kids (if they let me).

2. Margaritas - I know this heresy to say, especially here in Texas, but margaritas never taste as good as I think they will. The first three sips are ok, but then the drink goes downhill from there.

3. Gardening with my kids - I know, I know, all the parenting "experts" say we're supposed to involve our kids in gardening to teach them about plants and bugs and worms and nature. But really, it never works that way. I had a good reminder of it when we cleaned out the swamp two weeks ago. The big girls were very interested for the first 30 minutes or so, but they quickly lost interest and ran off to play with friends, leaving me to do all the work.

Last week, I let Campbell "help" me with turning two garden beds in the front of the house and with putting in the new plants. Instead of a nice bonding time in the beautiful outdoors, it turned into an exercise in patience on my part.

This is how our morning went.

C: Mommom, what you doing?
Me: I'm turning over the dirt so that I can put new plants in.
C: Why?
M: Because turning the dirt over brings up the nice rich dirt underneath that's good for plants.
C: Mommom, why did you take that plant out?
M: Because it's dead. It's not going to grow any more so I'm making room for new plants.
C: Why did it die?
M: Because all plants die eventually. It's just the way the world works.
C: Oh.

C: Mommom, can I help you dig holes?
M: Yes, here's the shovel. You can dig the next hole right here.
C: But I want to dig it over here.
M: No, that won't work because there's already a plant right there, and they can't be too close to each other.
C: Why?
M: Because they need room to grow and be healthy. Can you please dig the hole right here?
C: No. I want to dig it over there next to that plant.
M: I've already told you, you can't dig there.
C: But I WANT TO!
(repeat for each plant)

C: Can I pull this plant out? I think it's dead.
M: No, don't pull it out. It's one of the new plants.
C: But I already pulleded it out. I want to plant it over here.
M: Campbell, it's not good to pull the plants back out again. It hurts their roots.
C: It's OK. I putted it back.
(Plant is found stuck in the dirt upside-down)

M: Campbell! Come see the worm I found.
C: It's dirty.
M: Yes. Worms live in the dirt. They even eat dirt. Worms are good for gardens becase they eat dirt.
C: Next time I want a clean one.

C: Look mommom! I filled my shoes with dirt.
M: Campbell, please don't do that. Empty your sneakers out right now.
C: Why?
M: Because I said so.
C: Why?
M: BECAUSE DIRT ISN'T GOOD FOR SNEAKERS!

By the end of the hour outside, I had managed to get most of my plants in, but my nerves were frazzled by my son's zillion questions and "help." I decided to save the rest of the project for the next day when he was at school.

And if I ever get ambitious enough to actually put in a vegetable garden, I'll make sure to do it when the big three are spending the night at their grandmother's house.