I hit a landmark on Sunday without even realizing it - I published my 600th blog post. I started on blogger in November 2006, but I'd been writing bloggish posts on my own website for a while before that.
At first it was an effort to remember to post on a regular basis, but now it's become such a part of my day that it feels odd not to post something. There are days when I write multiple drafts of different posts but then scrap them all because they aren't working. But mostly, I write and publish every day.
So here's to 600 posts down and at least 600 more to go.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Sunday, March 01, 2009
Fourth Place
We went to Dallas this weekend for a climbing competition. Ella placed fourth in her division, which is pretty cool considering she was the youngest one competing. More importantly, she had lots of fun. This was a traditional comp, with roped climbing. B was Ella's belay partner throughout the day, and it was really fun to watch them working together.
I think the above picture says it all.
Here she is on her last climb. My camera's flash wasn't strong enough to fight through the gloom and swirling chalk dust in the gym.
I think the above picture says it all.
Here she is on her last climb. My camera's flash wasn't strong enough to fight through the gloom and swirling chalk dust in the gym. I asked Ella what the best part of the weekend was. She said, "I got a ribbon, a climbing magazine and TWO stickers!"
Goodness I love that girl.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
What do you think I do all day?
Lily is home from school today. She's that annoying level of sick - she doesn't feel well enough to go to school, but she doesn't feel sick enough to be flat on the sofa watching movies.
She spent most of the morning following me around, driving me insane. Lily pestered me to read with her, to do art projects with her, to play games with her. I was trying to get real work done, and she wanted to me to entertain her.
At one point I turned to her and said, "Lily, what do you think I do all day while you're at school? I have actual work to do, you know." She looked stunned.
It dawned on me that she and Ella probably think I spend all day sitting here, staring at the door, waiting for them to get home from school.
After that, Lily stopped following me around and switched to asking me if I was done working yet every 15 minutes. I escaped to a lunch meeting and left B to entertain her.
Now she's in "rest" time while Campbell supposedly naps. With any luck Lily will be begging to go back to school tomorrow.
She spent most of the morning following me around, driving me insane. Lily pestered me to read with her, to do art projects with her, to play games with her. I was trying to get real work done, and she wanted to me to entertain her.
At one point I turned to her and said, "Lily, what do you think I do all day while you're at school? I have actual work to do, you know." She looked stunned.
It dawned on me that she and Ella probably think I spend all day sitting here, staring at the door, waiting for them to get home from school.
After that, Lily stopped following me around and switched to asking me if I was done working yet every 15 minutes. I escaped to a lunch meeting and left B to entertain her.
Now she's in "rest" time while Campbell supposedly naps. With any luck Lily will be begging to go back to school tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Not in front of the kids
It's Carnival Wednesday over at One More Thing, and the topic is "Not in Front of the Kids." I know others might write about sex but I'm kind of a prude in that way, plus my mom, dad, sister and possibly one uncle read this blog. So instead I'm going to write about other things I try my best not to do in front of the kids.
1. Swear - When I'm in the mood, I can swear like a sailor, which seems to surprise people. I guess I don't look the type to let loose with a string of foul words when provoked, but I learned from the master - my mother. My dad never swears, but my mom is a pro. Once, about 14 years ago, my mom accidentally cut my dad's hand open with pruning shears while they were working in the garden. I just happened to call home that day and got this report from my sister, "I don't know what happened, exactly. They came in, and mom was crying and dad was swearing - and you know how he never swears."
I realized that maybe I hadn't been watching my language enough the day Ella asked me how to spell fuck. And then there was the day I dropped a huge container of blue berries in the produce section of our shee-shee grocery store, and I heard Lily say, with her best little southern accent, "Son of a beeeech!" People within earshot were either smothering their laughs or looking appalled.
It might be too late for the girls not to pick up on my cursing, but maybe I still have a chance with Campbell and Elizabeth.
2. Eat candy - I have a huge sweet tooth for candy - gummy bears, jelly beans, candy hearts and the like. I try not to binge on them, but some days it's hard. If it weren't for the fact that I chase after a ton of kids every day and that I come from a race of tall, skinny people, I'd probably weigh 300 pounds. I have a stash of candy in a bowl in the bookshelf in the kitchen. The girls know it's there, but my goal is not let them catch me eating out of too often - or to catch me eating cake for breakfast.
It's not that candy is forbidden in our house. The kids get treats on a regular basis, it's just that I want them to be older before they develop a sugar addiction.
3. Watch trashy TV - I know there are families who don't own TVs or who don't let their kids watch television. We aren't one of those families. We usually don't let the kids watch during the week, but on the weekend they do get to watch their fair share of SpongeBob, Dirty Jobs, AFV, and The Simpsons.
I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I love The Real Housewives shows on Bravo. The women simultaneously crack me up and horrify me. I don't want the girls watching such tripe until they are old enough to understand the camp value.
But they totally watch Top Chef (go Carla!) and Project Runway with me.
4. See the extent of my migraine pain - I generally try not to let the kids see just how much pain I'm in when I have a migraine. There's no real reason other than not wanting them to worry that I'm going to die or something. Both girls have fertile imaginations, and it wouldn't surprise me if at some point one of them decides that I have a tumor and am going to die.
Here are some things that the kids see me do on a regular basis.
1. Hug and kiss their dad
2. Read - I firmly believe you can't teach kids the value of reading if you don't read for pleasure yourself.
3. Knit - ditto the reading (I was so thrilled the day Campbell pointed to someone on TV and said "Knitting!")
4. Exercise
5. Get frustrated or angry without resorting to throwing a tantrum
6. Have mild disagreements with their dad and solve them without resorting to screaming or yelling
7. Laugh and tell jokes
8. Do paying work
9. Do housework
10. Shower - I sincerely wish this weren't true, but I haven't managed to impress upon the girls that the ONLY reasons they should bug me while I'm in the shower are if the police are banging on the door or someone is bleeding profusely - and no Lily a papercut doesn't count
11. Tell them how much I love them
Those are my lists. What are yours? If you decide to create one, leave me a comment and let Kate know. She'll put a link up on her blog, too.
1. Swear - When I'm in the mood, I can swear like a sailor, which seems to surprise people. I guess I don't look the type to let loose with a string of foul words when provoked, but I learned from the master - my mother. My dad never swears, but my mom is a pro. Once, about 14 years ago, my mom accidentally cut my dad's hand open with pruning shears while they were working in the garden. I just happened to call home that day and got this report from my sister, "I don't know what happened, exactly. They came in, and mom was crying and dad was swearing - and you know how he never swears."
I realized that maybe I hadn't been watching my language enough the day Ella asked me how to spell fuck. And then there was the day I dropped a huge container of blue berries in the produce section of our shee-shee grocery store, and I heard Lily say, with her best little southern accent, "Son of a beeeech!" People within earshot were either smothering their laughs or looking appalled.
It might be too late for the girls not to pick up on my cursing, but maybe I still have a chance with Campbell and Elizabeth.
2. Eat candy - I have a huge sweet tooth for candy - gummy bears, jelly beans, candy hearts and the like. I try not to binge on them, but some days it's hard. If it weren't for the fact that I chase after a ton of kids every day and that I come from a race of tall, skinny people, I'd probably weigh 300 pounds. I have a stash of candy in a bowl in the bookshelf in the kitchen. The girls know it's there, but my goal is not let them catch me eating out of too often - or to catch me eating cake for breakfast.
It's not that candy is forbidden in our house. The kids get treats on a regular basis, it's just that I want them to be older before they develop a sugar addiction.
3. Watch trashy TV - I know there are families who don't own TVs or who don't let their kids watch television. We aren't one of those families. We usually don't let the kids watch during the week, but on the weekend they do get to watch their fair share of SpongeBob, Dirty Jobs, AFV, and The Simpsons.
I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I love The Real Housewives shows on Bravo. The women simultaneously crack me up and horrify me. I don't want the girls watching such tripe until they are old enough to understand the camp value.
But they totally watch Top Chef (go Carla!) and Project Runway with me.
4. See the extent of my migraine pain - I generally try not to let the kids see just how much pain I'm in when I have a migraine. There's no real reason other than not wanting them to worry that I'm going to die or something. Both girls have fertile imaginations, and it wouldn't surprise me if at some point one of them decides that I have a tumor and am going to die.
Here are some things that the kids see me do on a regular basis.
1. Hug and kiss their dad
2. Read - I firmly believe you can't teach kids the value of reading if you don't read for pleasure yourself.
3. Knit - ditto the reading (I was so thrilled the day Campbell pointed to someone on TV and said "Knitting!")
4. Exercise
5. Get frustrated or angry without resorting to throwing a tantrum
6. Have mild disagreements with their dad and solve them without resorting to screaming or yelling
7. Laugh and tell jokes
8. Do paying work
9. Do housework
10. Shower - I sincerely wish this weren't true, but I haven't managed to impress upon the girls that the ONLY reasons they should bug me while I'm in the shower are if the police are banging on the door or someone is bleeding profusely - and no Lily a papercut doesn't count
11. Tell them how much I love them
Those are my lists. What are yours? If you decide to create one, leave me a comment and let Kate know. She'll put a link up on her blog, too.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Ella's "Speech"
Ella came out the other night, dressed all in black, to deliver a speech she had written. But at the last minute she handed it to B, told him to read it, and disappeared into her room embarrassed by the attention. Here's the speech, sic all:
DEAR FELLOW PARENTS, I feel I shoud get an allounce. I have been deeply thinking about folding landry fifty cents a week. I hope you agree. I so pleese sghen below.
Sincerily,
ELLAG.
Once B and I stopped giggling at her spelling and choice of words, we called her out of her room. We told her it was a very polite request and that we would discuss it. Then we talked about how "Fellow Parents" really only applied if she was also a parent. She giggled at the idea of being a parent.
So this week we're going to experiment with laundry folding and see how she does. It's worth the fifty cents she's asking, considering I'd have to pay my cleaning lady a lot more to fold the laundry. Of course, once Ella sees the mountain of clothes, she may change her mind or request a raise.
DEAR FELLOW PARENTS, I feel I shoud get an allounce. I have been deeply thinking about folding landry fifty cents a week. I hope you agree. I so pleese sghen below.
Sincerily,
ELLAG.
Once B and I stopped giggling at her spelling and choice of words, we called her out of her room. We told her it was a very polite request and that we would discuss it. Then we talked about how "Fellow Parents" really only applied if she was also a parent. She giggled at the idea of being a parent.
So this week we're going to experiment with laundry folding and see how she does. It's worth the fifty cents she's asking, considering I'd have to pay my cleaning lady a lot more to fold the laundry. Of course, once Ella sees the mountain of clothes, she may change her mind or request a raise.
Monday, February 23, 2009
No longer willing to be patient
I have been dealing with hospital bills and insurance claims for Elizabeth's birth since mid-December, and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight.
Insurance coughed up for Elizabeth's 7 days in NICU. The total bill was along the lines of $22,000, and insurance paid for 80% leaving us with the rest. I've arranged a reasonable payment plan for the amount and should have Elizabeth paid off before she gets to kindergarten.
The problems lie with my c-section. Our insurance plan doesn't cover pregnancy or delivery, so technically, BCBS wasn't supposed to pay for the delivery. However, Elizabeth's early arrival constituted a "complicating factor," which means BCBS is supposed to pay. They paid for the anesthesiologist without a problem and then denied the c-section because the hospital coded it as a scheduled delivery instead of an emergency.
On the advice of the insurance company, I called the hospital and askend them to resubmit the bill with the proper coding, which they did. Insurance denied it again, so I called them back and was told that the hospital needed to submit my medical records to prove that it was an emergency. It would have been nice if they had told me that the first time.
I called the hospital and gave them all the information they needed to submit the medical records - claim number, fax number, contact name, etc. Next thing I know, I'm getting recorded calls from the hospital demanding payment. I call the hospital and am told that the request for medical records needs to come from the insurance company directly. Again, it would have been nice to have been told that during my last call. I tell them they are now responsible for getting the request from the insurance company. The "supervisor" I spoke with promised me he would and that he would call with an update. That was two weeks ago, and I still haven't heard from him.
In the meantime, with the help of two friends who work at the hospital, I got the name and contact number of someone in the business office who helps with such things. I left her four messages over two weeks before I get a call back. She couldn't find any record that I have insurance. We have switched insurance in the past few months, so I no longer have my BCBS insurance cards. I gave her all my BCBS policy information, but she wasn't sure that would be enough to submit the claim. I pointed out that BCBS has paid for Elizabeth's stay and the anesthesiologist, which means they got my insurance information from hospital at some point. She said she'd research it and call back. You guessed it - I haven't heard back. I left her a message on Friday.
Today I decided to become the unhappy client from hell on this. I'm tired of being polite and patient. I'm tired of not knowing how much money we're going to end up owing. And I'm stunned that the insurance company is willing to pay but the hospital can't get its act together to collect the money.
I called to talk to Michael G, the "supervisor" who promised to call me back. Big surprise, he wasn't available. So I asked to talk to his boss. The man who answered my call came back on the line to tell me that all the managers were in meetings. So I said I wanted a call back today. But this traps me in the house. Even though I gave them my cell phone number, I can't exactly spread out all of my paperwork in the produce aisle if that's where I happen to be when someone calls. I'll give them until 1:00 before calling back and raising hell. And I'll be calling the woman at the business office again.
I'm done with being patient and nice.
Insurance coughed up for Elizabeth's 7 days in NICU. The total bill was along the lines of $22,000, and insurance paid for 80% leaving us with the rest. I've arranged a reasonable payment plan for the amount and should have Elizabeth paid off before she gets to kindergarten.
The problems lie with my c-section. Our insurance plan doesn't cover pregnancy or delivery, so technically, BCBS wasn't supposed to pay for the delivery. However, Elizabeth's early arrival constituted a "complicating factor," which means BCBS is supposed to pay. They paid for the anesthesiologist without a problem and then denied the c-section because the hospital coded it as a scheduled delivery instead of an emergency.
On the advice of the insurance company, I called the hospital and askend them to resubmit the bill with the proper coding, which they did. Insurance denied it again, so I called them back and was told that the hospital needed to submit my medical records to prove that it was an emergency. It would have been nice if they had told me that the first time.
I called the hospital and gave them all the information they needed to submit the medical records - claim number, fax number, contact name, etc. Next thing I know, I'm getting recorded calls from the hospital demanding payment. I call the hospital and am told that the request for medical records needs to come from the insurance company directly. Again, it would have been nice to have been told that during my last call. I tell them they are now responsible for getting the request from the insurance company. The "supervisor" I spoke with promised me he would and that he would call with an update. That was two weeks ago, and I still haven't heard from him.
In the meantime, with the help of two friends who work at the hospital, I got the name and contact number of someone in the business office who helps with such things. I left her four messages over two weeks before I get a call back. She couldn't find any record that I have insurance. We have switched insurance in the past few months, so I no longer have my BCBS insurance cards. I gave her all my BCBS policy information, but she wasn't sure that would be enough to submit the claim. I pointed out that BCBS has paid for Elizabeth's stay and the anesthesiologist, which means they got my insurance information from hospital at some point. She said she'd research it and call back. You guessed it - I haven't heard back. I left her a message on Friday.
Today I decided to become the unhappy client from hell on this. I'm tired of being polite and patient. I'm tired of not knowing how much money we're going to end up owing. And I'm stunned that the insurance company is willing to pay but the hospital can't get its act together to collect the money.
I called to talk to Michael G, the "supervisor" who promised to call me back. Big surprise, he wasn't available. So I asked to talk to his boss. The man who answered my call came back on the line to tell me that all the managers were in meetings. So I said I wanted a call back today. But this traps me in the house. Even though I gave them my cell phone number, I can't exactly spread out all of my paperwork in the produce aisle if that's where I happen to be when someone calls. I'll give them until 1:00 before calling back and raising hell. And I'll be calling the woman at the business office again.
I'm done with being patient and nice.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Out of such a sweet little mouth
The other night the girls were reading a story, and two of the characters were having a fight. B asked them what they thought one character should do to solve the problem. Out of Lily, all pink cheeks, freckles, blue eyes and missing teeth, came this suggestion:He should kick him in the nuts!
My mom and B gasped for air, trying not to laugh, as I choked out, "Where did you hear that!!???" Lily looked up matter of factly and named a girl in her class who has a third-grade brother.
She's learning more at school than I want her to.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Perhaps I should become one
My mom was here this weekend to witness the insanity that is my life these days. She was amazed, and not in a good way, at the level of chaos that is pretty constant around here. Tuesday afternoon was particularly bad. The girls had come home from school bickering about everything; Campbell had woken up from his nap on the wrong side of the universe and was following me around sobbing and saying, "Up peese!"; Elizabeth was having tummy troubles and was wailing; and B's father had dropped by with belated Valentine's Day treats for the kids, which caused another round of bickering. Plus B was flat on his back in pain from the nerve ablation he had three weeks ago that doesn't seem to have helped his neck at all. So he was no help.
My mother looked at me at one point and said
I'm surprised you're not an alcoholic.
My mother looked at me at one point and said
I'm surprised you're not an alcoholic.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
No Regrets
Kate over at One More Thing invited me to be part of a blog carnival, whatever that is. Today's topic is "Regrets." Since listing out the things in my life that I regret would send me down a dangerous path considering my current state, I'm going to list the things I don't regret. It seems a healthier option for me.
Moving to Austin
In August 1994, I helped drive B's then girlfriend's car (a really, really long story for another time) out to Austin. I spent two weeks here and absolutely fell in love with the city. I had decided not to extend my coaching contract at UF (another long story) and had no job and no real plans other than to move to my parents' house in Atlanta and pull myself together. Instead, I decided to move to Austin. Over Labor Day Weekend, B and I drove from Austin to Gainesville, loaded up my stuff, and drove back to Austin - we left Friday evening and were back Monday evening - I don't recommend such a trip. I've been here ever since.
Things were rocky at the start. I didn't have a job, so I was doing temp work and volunteer coaching for a local swim team, hoping it would turn into a job. I was also burning through savings at alarming rate. But just as I was about to throw in the towel and give up, I got a real job (not coaching, but hey, it was a job), and things started to turn around.
I have never regretted my decision to make a leap of faith to an unknown city and start from scratch. I believe pretty much everything good in my life right now - my husband, our kids, our friends - stems from my decision to move here.
Not running the 2000 Motorola Marathon
I had run the marathon in 1998 and 1999, and for the 2000 marathon I had been running with a great group and training under a coach. I had a spectacular racing season, including running a personal best half marathon by 12 minutes. I had done my last long run of 21 miles by myself and had survived it and the head games that came along with running alone for that long. I was ready to go, and if the stars aligned there was a chance of my qualifying for Boston. The stars did align, but for a different purpose. Seven days before the race I found I was pregnant. My OB gave me permission to run the marathon given that my body was in marathoning shape, and I spent several days going back and forth on whether to run. In the end, and much to my husband's relief, I decided not to run. Even though I still feel like I have one more marathon in me, I've never regretted not running that race. If I had, and something had happened to the baby who turned out to be Ella, I'd have spent the rest of my life regretting the decision.
Staying home full time
After Ella was born, I was able to arrange things at work so that I was in the office from 7-12 each day and then working from home in the afternoons. I loved the schedule. Ella was home with B in the mornings - he was coaching diving at that time and didn't need to go to the pool until after lunch - and home with me in the afternoons. I felt like I had the best of both worlds - time in the office with other adults and time at home with my baby. But when I was pregnant with Lily, we realized that the arrangement would no longer work with two kids. For one, B had changed jobs and even though he had flexible work hours, he was having a harder time being home in the morning. We knew that we wouldn't be able to afford child care for two kids. Also, I had begun some limited freelance work for the textbook publisher I still do work for, and that gave me hope that I'd be able to pick up work to supplement B's income.
Two months before I had Lily, I announced my intention to take a permanent maternity leave. The reactions of my coworkers were interesting. The women who worked full time and had kids in day care predicted I'd be bored and begging for my job back within six months. Coworkers of my parents' generation congratulated me on my decision to stay at home, saying that they or their wives had done the same thing and had loved it. Coworkers who were younger thought I was crazy. My beloved bosses just sighed, having known all along that it would come to this.
It's been six years now, and while there are days when I long to escape to an office, I have never once regretted the decision to stay home. And I've certainly never been bored. I do realize how fortunate I am to be able to stay home. I have a husband who's supportive, freelance work that keeps my brain engaged, and a community of other SAH moms who provide much-needed support and friendship.
***
There - three major things I don't regret. I'd write about more, but it has taken me an hour to get this far because of requests and interruptions from children and a crying baby, who is crying again.
Moving to Austin
In August 1994, I helped drive B's then girlfriend's car (a really, really long story for another time) out to Austin. I spent two weeks here and absolutely fell in love with the city. I had decided not to extend my coaching contract at UF (another long story) and had no job and no real plans other than to move to my parents' house in Atlanta and pull myself together. Instead, I decided to move to Austin. Over Labor Day Weekend, B and I drove from Austin to Gainesville, loaded up my stuff, and drove back to Austin - we left Friday evening and were back Monday evening - I don't recommend such a trip. I've been here ever since.
Things were rocky at the start. I didn't have a job, so I was doing temp work and volunteer coaching for a local swim team, hoping it would turn into a job. I was also burning through savings at alarming rate. But just as I was about to throw in the towel and give up, I got a real job (not coaching, but hey, it was a job), and things started to turn around.
I have never regretted my decision to make a leap of faith to an unknown city and start from scratch. I believe pretty much everything good in my life right now - my husband, our kids, our friends - stems from my decision to move here.
Not running the 2000 Motorola Marathon
I had run the marathon in 1998 and 1999, and for the 2000 marathon I had been running with a great group and training under a coach. I had a spectacular racing season, including running a personal best half marathon by 12 minutes. I had done my last long run of 21 miles by myself and had survived it and the head games that came along with running alone for that long. I was ready to go, and if the stars aligned there was a chance of my qualifying for Boston. The stars did align, but for a different purpose. Seven days before the race I found I was pregnant. My OB gave me permission to run the marathon given that my body was in marathoning shape, and I spent several days going back and forth on whether to run. In the end, and much to my husband's relief, I decided not to run. Even though I still feel like I have one more marathon in me, I've never regretted not running that race. If I had, and something had happened to the baby who turned out to be Ella, I'd have spent the rest of my life regretting the decision.
Staying home full time
After Ella was born, I was able to arrange things at work so that I was in the office from 7-12 each day and then working from home in the afternoons. I loved the schedule. Ella was home with B in the mornings - he was coaching diving at that time and didn't need to go to the pool until after lunch - and home with me in the afternoons. I felt like I had the best of both worlds - time in the office with other adults and time at home with my baby. But when I was pregnant with Lily, we realized that the arrangement would no longer work with two kids. For one, B had changed jobs and even though he had flexible work hours, he was having a harder time being home in the morning. We knew that we wouldn't be able to afford child care for two kids. Also, I had begun some limited freelance work for the textbook publisher I still do work for, and that gave me hope that I'd be able to pick up work to supplement B's income.
Two months before I had Lily, I announced my intention to take a permanent maternity leave. The reactions of my coworkers were interesting. The women who worked full time and had kids in day care predicted I'd be bored and begging for my job back within six months. Coworkers of my parents' generation congratulated me on my decision to stay at home, saying that they or their wives had done the same thing and had loved it. Coworkers who were younger thought I was crazy. My beloved bosses just sighed, having known all along that it would come to this.
It's been six years now, and while there are days when I long to escape to an office, I have never once regretted the decision to stay home. And I've certainly never been bored. I do realize how fortunate I am to be able to stay home. I have a husband who's supportive, freelance work that keeps my brain engaged, and a community of other SAH moms who provide much-needed support and friendship.
***
There - three major things I don't regret. I'd write about more, but it has taken me an hour to get this far because of requests and interruptions from children and a crying baby, who is crying again.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The cutest baby hat ever
Elizabeth has some gorgeous knit hats courtesy of real-life friends and blog-world friends, but this one from my mom knittergran takes the cake. Every time I was out in public with Elizabeth while she was wearing this hat, people would stop me to rave about the hat and the baby. Elizabeth had it on today when we went to a local knitting store, and the women there just went nuts over her.
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