Wednesday, January 26, 2011

As if on cue

Yesterday, during therapy, I talked about how I’ve spent the past months constantly braced against the next catastrophe, waiting for the next thing to go wrong. When I looked at my old blog entries, I realized that this goes back to Memorial Day weekend when B broke his foot and Ella didn’t have appendicitis.

Since then, it seems like we’ve been hit with an exceptional string of illness and injury, the worst of it happening in the past 8 weeks. Every member of our house has been sick at least once since mid-November.

During my session, we talked about ways to cope when I start bracing for the worst and ways to reduce my anxiety levels – like knitting for meditation.

Little did I know that I’d get to start practicing immediately.

Yesterday afternoon I got an e-mail from school informing me that Ella has lice. When she and Lily got home from school, I checked both their heads, and sure enough, full infestation. I checked Campbell’s head, too, and found bugs. Elizabeth is the only child who isn’t infested.

I managed to begin the laundry-shampoo-combing circus without falling apart or losing my temper at the kids, despite Ella’s rotten attitude. When I start feeling anxious about it all, I force myself to sit down and knit for a few minutes, and it’s working.

While I’m frustrated at the situation, I’m not defeated by it. I’m feeling a lot more like my old capable self – proof that starting back to counseling was the correct choice.

7 comments:

Nicole said...

De-lurking to say good for you! I had a similar experience with depression, just felt like everything was happening all at once and overwhelming my ability to deal with it. Just the act of going to therapy and talking about it was tremendously helpful.

Becca said...

I am sooo not looking forward to my first round with that. I will be anxious and freaked out because...BUGS! on the HEAD!!! My head is itchy right now thinking about it.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this but it sounds like your are doing better with it that might have been. knit one, purl two...breathe

Barb said...

I'm so glad you are going to therapy. But Heather? You really have had an enormously stressful year--more than most people, more than most years. Sometimes bad luck is just bad luck. I think you're coping really well. It's hard when you're in the midst of depression to give yourself credit for the things you do RIGHT and dude, you do a LOT of things right.

How is B's neck these days?

The Empress said...

You nailed it with this post.

Feeling capable, not overwhelmed, knocked over, helpless.

I know what you are talking about.

This is...well, you got it right.

I love you.

Becky said...

Such great news! Good for you! *she says while itching her head. Can you get lice from the internet?

Baino said...

Whatever works I say. Knitting would probably drive me crazy. Take heart in the fact that lice only lay nits on clean hair! Happens all the time I guess.

Rini said...

Hey, I just found your blog. So relatable. I can understand the perpetual worry. I'm glad to hear the knitting helps. I'll have to try that the next time I start to get anxious.
Best of Luck!
Rini