False Advertising

People out here in Dripping seem to have odd ideas about names for their business establishments.

A few weeks after we moved out here, B mentioned that he was looking for a good, local place to get his hair cut. I told him I’d seen a place in downtown called The Barbershop, complete with the striped pole outside. I left for a work meeting and forgot all about it, until a text from B arrived: “The Barbershop you told me about is a bar. I walked in there at 11:00 am asking for a haircut.” I may have snort laughed in the middle of the meeting.

For the past few months, I’ve been driving this place called “Up in Smoke” and figured it was a barbecue joint. One day guys were out back making their own charcoal. So when B asked for barbecue for dinner, I thought it would a perfect place to try. When we pulled in, there were lots of cars in the parking lot, which I figured was a good sign. I left Ella in the car and waltzed into the place to find a dark, smoky honkytonk filled with drunk people. I asked a woman sitting at the bar if there was barbecue there, and she looked at me like I was an alien. I walked out quickly before there were problems, grateful that I hadn’t waltzed into a bar with my 11 year old.

On the way home, we stopped at a second place that had a sign outside that said “Real, Old-Time Barbecue,” and I made Ella get out of the car with me. Turns out it was a liquor store and there was a wine tasting going on. Everyone stared as the guy at the counter directed me to their barbecue section – a cooler of commercially packaged sausage and brisket. We left quickly, and I felt like the mother of the year taking my daughter to her first liquor store.

We did finally find a real barbecue joint in Dripping, but it took a few U-turns and driving slowly past places to figure out if they were really what they said they were. When we finally stopped, we knew we were in the right place based on the smell of barbecue in the parking lot. I was very relieved to walk in to a clean, well-lighted, family-run establishment. And the food was delicious.

There’s a new place opening up near us called “Pieous.” With the luck I’ve been having, it will probably be a bible store.