First, thank you to everyone for your comments and e-mails during the past two weeks of illness. I really, really appreciated them all.
I'm feeling a bit better, but definitely not as much better as I thought I would after finishing a course of antibiotics.
Last night I felt awful, and my mother, keeper of all medical horror stories, was urging me to go to the ER and demand a chest x-ray as soon as B and Ella got home from a climbing competition in Dallas. Instead, I hung out on the sofa with them and ate pop corn and watched a "MythBusters" marathon. It was much more fun than spending hours in the ER.
I went to bed early, and laid there awake, picturing worst-case scenarios, as is my habit. I figured going to the ER would have one of two possible outcomes. First, they'd look at me and decide I was a hypochondriac buying into the whole swine flu hysteria and send me on my way. Or second, they'd decide I was desperately ill and admit me to the hospital immediately.
This morning, I woke up feeling a bit better and a bit more like I'm suffering from allergies instead of something worse. So I took allergy medicine and pulled myself together for a Target run with Ella and Elizabeth. About halfway through the store, I thought I was going to collapse. I had to stop and lean on the grocery cart for a few minutes and pull myself together.
That's when it hit me that part of the reason I'm so worn out is that I haven't eaten much for the past two weeks. I have had absolutely no appetite lately, and my diet has largely consisted of soup, soup, soup, crackers, more soup, more crackers, cupcakes (thanks LCH!), and a cheeseburger (thanks MBC!). After we finished at Target, I stopped and picked up lunch and gobbled a hamburger and some fries.
I'm going to keep taking my allergy medicine and hope that I improve. But if I don't, I'll be back at the doctor's for sure. I'm ready to be healthy again.