Friday, March 09, 2012

I’m proud of myself

Last night I did something way, way outside of my comfort zone. I auditioned for the Austin Listen to Your Mother show. I wanted to do it last year, but I was so in the depths of depression that I just couldn’t. This year, however, I stopped talking about submitting an entry and actually did it.

I was thrilled when I was invited to read my entry in a real audition. But then terror quickly set in. Standing up in front of people and reading my own work terrifies me.

In the week leading up to the audition, the mean little voices in my head had a great time, telling me that I was foolish for thinking that anyone would want to hear anything I had to say, asking who I thought I was to even think I deserved to be on the stage with the other women in the show. I hate those mean little voices.

By the time I left for the audition yesterday, I was a wreck. It wouldn’t have taken much to tip me over the edge into full-on meltdown. I kept thinking up excuses to not go. But I went, despite horrible traffic and miserable weather.

And I did it. Voice and hands shaking, I stood in front of Wendi and Liz and read my piece. 

Even if I don’t make it into the final cast, and I very, very much want to be in the cast, I’ll be happy. I stood up and did something that truly scared me. That in and of itself is something to be proud of.

12 comments:

Ann Imig said...

I'm proud and honored. Thank you Heather!

knittergran said...

Yes, it 'tis something to be proud of, but I see no reason for you to doubt yourself! I'm glad you did it.

Leigh Ann said...

Auditioning is a challenge and an accomplishment itself. I'm glad you went through with it, and I have my fingers crossed for you!

Susan said...

That is so great!

Becky said...

Ask Ann, right before my audition I told her I couldn't do it. I'm The Most Outgoing Person but reading my stuff in front of people almost did me in. I'm SO GLAD I did though. LTYM was the best experience.

GOOD for you!

Mama C said...

I'm proud of you too!!! And especially that you are stronger and more confident and have conquered the depression that held you captive last year. You've come a long way and you have much to be proud of, not just about the speaking fear but in general. YAY!!

donna said...

Why are we our own harshest critics? Good for ...regardless of the outcome you've pushed yourself out of the box!

O'Pine said...

Way to go!!!!!!! You rock, lady.

Becca said...

I'm proud to know you!

Kara said...

Yay! Great job...not sure if I could ever do it.

Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac said...

I'm so proud you did it too! I wish the show could be 6 hours long to include all the great voices we heard!

shrink on the couch said...

Takes alotta guts, that auditioning. This is one of the many things I KNOW I couldn't do. No way. So hooray for you. I say to my clients, the hardest part is showing up. But with auditions? Not so true.