Some answers to questions I've gotten:
Why wouldn't you want to take a medicine that causes you to gain weight? It seems like a small price to pay.
I did try taking the medicine, and I gained 8 pounds in five days. Not good. Plus, I have a history of, ummm, anorexia. When I get stressed, or depressed, or otherwise feel like my life is out of control, I stop eating. Having rampant migraines AND gaining weight triggered some bad behaviors on my part. So after two months, I stopped taking the medication, lost the weight almost immediately without starving myself, and stopped beating myself up about not being able to fit into my clothes.
What are your triggers?
I've been able to pin down some things that pretty much guarantee a migraine: red wine, strawberries, lack of sleep, allergies, ozone days, and stress. There are other things that might trigger a migraine if the conditions are right, or wrong, depending on how you look at it: running, not running, heat, humidity, margaritas, and chocolate.
Are there different levels of pain?
Yes. I have some migraines that are mostly the side symptoms - like the visual distortions and sensitivities - with pain that's a 3 or 4 on a scale of 10. Those are the migraines that tend to go on for a week or so. Then there are the migraines that go all the way up to 11. Those are the ones that put me in bed in a cold, dark room in a haze of hydrocodone. As bad as the ones that go to 11 are, it's the low-level migraines that last for several days that take the most out of me. I get so worn down from feeling just well enough to function, but not well enough to thrive. Before I had kids, I'd go to bed when I had one of these and sleep it off. I don't have that luxury anymore. I have to save my retreats to bed for the really, really bad ones.
I've had bad headaches before, so I know how you feel.
Umm, no offense here, but if you've never had a migraine, you don't know how one feels. Imagine your worst ice-cream headache. Now multiply it by ten, have it last 36 hours instead of 30 seconds, and just for fun, throw in nausea, sensitivity to light, smells, and sound. Then maybe, just maybe, you'll feel like you have a migraine. My husband, who is really very understanding about my migraines, had a sinus infection last year that was so bad he spent two days in bed. He said later that the sinus pain gave him an inkling of what migraines were like and apologized for any of the times he wasn't as sympathetic as he could have been. And even then, he didn't claim that his sinus pain was close to a migraine in intensity.
Do you have one again today?
Yes. For the record, that's three days in a row. This one's an 8 or so.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Migraine, Migraine go away
I'm currently in the throes of my second migraine in two days. Right now I'm getting about two a week. For the past few weeks I've maxed out on the number of Imitrex pills I'm allowed to take in a certain number of hours. Actually, now that I think about it, I should probably say that I've had the same migraine for two days, with a few hours' respite in there somewhere.
Usually, my migraines come on in the afternoons, which is what happened yesterday. We had a house full of friends - including lots of kids - for an impromptu party for Campbell's birthday. We had a big one a week ago while my folks were here, but the girls insisted that we have another party ON Campbell's birthday, so we did. Anyway, the migraine hit me like a mac truck, no warning signs, no visual distortions. I took an Imitrex and felt marginally better in the evening, but I was in bed and asleep by 9:30 or so.
When I woke up I felt like it would be a bad day, but I went for a run anyway, hoping that doing so would help. Sometimes exercise gets rid of minor migraines. It seemed to work this morning, but as the day wore on, and the rains rolled through, the migraine returned.
I've had migraines since I was a child. I vividly remember having them when we lived in Massachusetts. I remember lying curled up on the family room sofa feeling like my head was going to explode. I remember having lots of them after we moved to Florida, having to go to the nurse's office because I was in so much pain. And then there were the headaches in high school - maybe that's why I did so poorly in calculus. Hmmm.
I've had people ask if I'm upset that my parents never did anything about my headaches when I was little, but I'm not at all. I don't think migraines were well known then, and who would think a little kid would have them. Mom would give me aspirin and send me off to my room to rest, which is about all anyone could have done. Sometimes she gave me some flat Coke to drink, and since caffeine can sometimes help, that was actually a good thing for her to do.
In college I read an article on migraines and realized that the description in the article exactly matched what I had - intense pain behind one eye; sensitivity to light, sound, and smell; and nausea. I went to the doctor at the student health clinic and told him about my symptoms. His response? "That's not what a migraine feels like." He told me I had a sinus infection and sent me on my way with antibiotics. So for the next 8 years, every time I had a migraine that lasted three days, I'd assume I had a sinus infection and either take decongestants or go to the doctor for antibiotics.
Finally, when I was 26, after two rounds of antibiotics and no relief of the pain, my doctor ordered a sinus x-ray, which revealed clean sinuses. I should note that it was summer, and the migraines are always worse in the heat and humidity. I can go day after day with blinding headaches. The doctor, after getting the x-rays back said, "I think these might be migraines. I'm sending you to a specialist." I broke down in tears in his office out of sheer relief.
It took some tinkering with medications - there was the stuff that made me pass out every time I stood up and the stuff that made me throw up endlessly - before we settled on Imitrex. This neurologist also sent me for biofeedback sessions to help me learn to control the pain. I still do some of the breathing exercises when the pain is intense. The exercises keep me from getting so tensed up, and I can usually relax enough to fall asleep.
The doctor also gave me a prescription for pain pills to take when the Imitrex didn't work. Unfortunately, there are times when not even the hydrocodone works, and all I can do is retreat to a cold, dark room with an ice pack on my head. My sister has gone to the ER a few times when her migraines have gotten to be too much and the pain pills don't work. I can think of a few headaches where I probably should have done the same thing.
The migraines get worse when I'm pregnant because I can't take the Imitrex. I've tried chiropracty and accupuncture as ways of relieving the misery, but they never offered real results. Unfortunately, when I'm pregnant and I get a migraine, I throw up, a lot. With Lily I suspected I was pregnant before I took the test because I had had a migraine and had thrown up.
My friends probably get tired of hearing that I have headaches, but in all honesty, there are many, many times when I don't admit to anyone, not even B, that I have one. There are days when I just don't have the luxury of going to bed. So I take the Imitrex, grit my teeth and hope for the best. I keep myself going with the memory of what life was life before I knew what the headaches were. I soldiered on then without the help of any medications because I had no choice.
My neurologists have tried some preventive medications, including depacote, which has the potential for horrible birth defects if taken when pregnant, but I've gone off all of them voluntarily. Everything I've tried has made life worse, not better. One medication gave me regular headaches. And while I can function if necessary with a migraine, a regular headache absolutely knocks me out - I don't know how to cope. Another medication made me gain weight. Still another made me overheat when running, to the point that I nearly collapsed on a run. So now I just say no when the doctor suggest another possible prevention. Sometimes the cure is really worse than the disease.
My greatest worry is that my kids will get migraines. Last summer Ella complained of migraines every day after school, and I panicked. It turns out she was just dehydrated - I'd pump her full of water in the car on the way home, and she'd bounce back without a problem. But I still worry. I wouldn't wish these on my worst enemy.
And now I'm off to bed with an ice pack on my head.
Usually, my migraines come on in the afternoons, which is what happened yesterday. We had a house full of friends - including lots of kids - for an impromptu party for Campbell's birthday. We had a big one a week ago while my folks were here, but the girls insisted that we have another party ON Campbell's birthday, so we did. Anyway, the migraine hit me like a mac truck, no warning signs, no visual distortions. I took an Imitrex and felt marginally better in the evening, but I was in bed and asleep by 9:30 or so.
When I woke up I felt like it would be a bad day, but I went for a run anyway, hoping that doing so would help. Sometimes exercise gets rid of minor migraines. It seemed to work this morning, but as the day wore on, and the rains rolled through, the migraine returned.
I've had migraines since I was a child. I vividly remember having them when we lived in Massachusetts. I remember lying curled up on the family room sofa feeling like my head was going to explode. I remember having lots of them after we moved to Florida, having to go to the nurse's office because I was in so much pain. And then there were the headaches in high school - maybe that's why I did so poorly in calculus. Hmmm.
I've had people ask if I'm upset that my parents never did anything about my headaches when I was little, but I'm not at all. I don't think migraines were well known then, and who would think a little kid would have them. Mom would give me aspirin and send me off to my room to rest, which is about all anyone could have done. Sometimes she gave me some flat Coke to drink, and since caffeine can sometimes help, that was actually a good thing for her to do.
In college I read an article on migraines and realized that the description in the article exactly matched what I had - intense pain behind one eye; sensitivity to light, sound, and smell; and nausea. I went to the doctor at the student health clinic and told him about my symptoms. His response? "That's not what a migraine feels like." He told me I had a sinus infection and sent me on my way with antibiotics. So for the next 8 years, every time I had a migraine that lasted three days, I'd assume I had a sinus infection and either take decongestants or go to the doctor for antibiotics.
Finally, when I was 26, after two rounds of antibiotics and no relief of the pain, my doctor ordered a sinus x-ray, which revealed clean sinuses. I should note that it was summer, and the migraines are always worse in the heat and humidity. I can go day after day with blinding headaches. The doctor, after getting the x-rays back said, "I think these might be migraines. I'm sending you to a specialist." I broke down in tears in his office out of sheer relief.
It took some tinkering with medications - there was the stuff that made me pass out every time I stood up and the stuff that made me throw up endlessly - before we settled on Imitrex. This neurologist also sent me for biofeedback sessions to help me learn to control the pain. I still do some of the breathing exercises when the pain is intense. The exercises keep me from getting so tensed up, and I can usually relax enough to fall asleep.
The doctor also gave me a prescription for pain pills to take when the Imitrex didn't work. Unfortunately, there are times when not even the hydrocodone works, and all I can do is retreat to a cold, dark room with an ice pack on my head. My sister has gone to the ER a few times when her migraines have gotten to be too much and the pain pills don't work. I can think of a few headaches where I probably should have done the same thing.
The migraines get worse when I'm pregnant because I can't take the Imitrex. I've tried chiropracty and accupuncture as ways of relieving the misery, but they never offered real results. Unfortunately, when I'm pregnant and I get a migraine, I throw up, a lot. With Lily I suspected I was pregnant before I took the test because I had had a migraine and had thrown up.
My friends probably get tired of hearing that I have headaches, but in all honesty, there are many, many times when I don't admit to anyone, not even B, that I have one. There are days when I just don't have the luxury of going to bed. So I take the Imitrex, grit my teeth and hope for the best. I keep myself going with the memory of what life was life before I knew what the headaches were. I soldiered on then without the help of any medications because I had no choice.
My neurologists have tried some preventive medications, including depacote, which has the potential for horrible birth defects if taken when pregnant, but I've gone off all of them voluntarily. Everything I've tried has made life worse, not better. One medication gave me regular headaches. And while I can function if necessary with a migraine, a regular headache absolutely knocks me out - I don't know how to cope. Another medication made me gain weight. Still another made me overheat when running, to the point that I nearly collapsed on a run. So now I just say no when the doctor suggest another possible prevention. Sometimes the cure is really worse than the disease.
My greatest worry is that my kids will get migraines. Last summer Ella complained of migraines every day after school, and I panicked. It turns out she was just dehydrated - I'd pump her full of water in the car on the way home, and she'd bounce back without a problem. But I still worry. I wouldn't wish these on my worst enemy.
And now I'm off to bed with an ice pack on my head.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Happy Birthday Baby Boy
Today is Campbell's first birthday, and I'm feeling a little sad. I know he's my last baby, and I feel like I have to hug and snuggle every ounce of babyness I can out of him now because he's getting so big, so fast. Last week he decided he was going to walk, and now he walks everywhere. It looks so ridiculous to see someone so short staggering around the house, but there he goes, off on another lap around the living room.But to temper the sadness, there is the absolute joy that Campbell has brought to our family. When B and I were discussing whether to have a third child, the only thing I could say to counter all of B's very logical, rational arguments against another baby was "Someone is missing from our family." And Campbell is exactly who was missing.
He is such a sunny littly guy, tagging along behind his big sisters. He loves sitting at the kitchen table with them for afternoon snack. He'll join in the conversation, jabbering at them like he is telling them all about his day. And when the girls start laughing about something, Campbell will look at them for a moment and then start laughing too. He has no idea what's so funny, but if they're laughing, it must be funny.
When Campbell gets his hands on some new toy, or something he's not supposed to have, he'll sit on the floor and spin in circles, like he's on a sit'n'spin, jabbering. It's hysterical to see. He also loves to throw his toys as he noodles around the house, but he usually throws them behind him, and then looks extremely puzzled at their disappearance.
His greatest heartbreak is when Ella and Lily lock him out of their bedroom. If he manages to get in there with him, Ella will pick him up and plop him in the hallway and close the door. Campbell will crawl over to their door and bang on it while yelling. He got even with them last week by shredding some artwork Ella had hung on the outside of her bedroom door.
Campbell keeps getting more fun every day. I really feel like I've been able to enjoy his babyhood more than I did the girls'. With Ella I was so panicked all the time about balancing work and her, and I didn't have any clue what I was doing with her. I was such a nervous wreck that I missed the fun of her baby days. When Lily was a baby I was so busy chasing Ella, who was 2 and a handful, that Lily spent most of her time in the bouncy seat watching all the commotion. But with Campbell, I've been much more relaxed and have worried so much less about everything. And with the girls away every morning, I've had the time to just sit on the floor and play with him. Those mornings have been so special.
So now I'm weaning him, slowly. It's harder this time than it was with the girls, just because I know it's my last time. Also, he's never taken to bottles, so it's harder to get him to accept cups of milk before nap and bed, but I'm working on it. I'm going out of town the first week of October, and that will be Campbell's cut-off date. In the meantime, I'm savoring those last few early morning and evening snuggles with him.
Happy Birthday baby boy! We love you so much.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Sock progress
After a week-long lull in my knitting, I made great progress on my sock this weekend. Friday night I turned the heel, with my mom coaching me along via speakerphone. B teased us that we should try brain surgery together. I had been told that when you turn your first heel you feel like a genius, and it's true. I felt so very smart when I looked at my needles and saw an actual heel dangling from them.I thought I was pretty close to finished and was about to start the decrease process, but at mom's suggestion I tried the sock on. It's a good thing I did - I have a long way to go, as you can see.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
The Parent Trap
Ella has her friend M spending the night tonight. The girls have been buddies since they were about 18 months old, and spending the night is their new favorite thing. M arrived with her American Girl Doll Kirsten in tow, along with Kirsten's luggage. Kirsten and Ella's doll, Hermione, have been sitting next to each other on the sofa all evening, having a good chat, I suppose. Right now the dolls are being changed into their nightgowns and sleeping bonnets. Later they'll be tucked into Hermione's crib for their own little slumber party.
The main activity of the evening has been watching The Parent Trap, the original version with Hayley Mills AND Hayley Mills, and the girls have been mesmerized by it. I love that they think this is a cool movie, despite its lack of animation, special effects (unless you count HM sharing scenes with herself), and princesses. They've been cackling at the pranks pulled, and getting some bad ideas, I'm afraid, and guessing what's going to happen next. It's so nice to see that they are still 6 going on 7 instead of 6 going on 13 - at least for tonight.
Lily has been hanging out with the big girls. She considers this just as much her sleepover as Ella's. She isn't quite old enough to understand that she's the pesky little sister in this situation. Fortunately, Ella and M are pretty tolerant of her presence, and her gymnastics on the blow-up mattress in the living room. Lily couldn't still tonight if her life depended on it. B and I have tried to lure her out of the room with promises of one-on-one time with us, but she'd far rather watch a movie she doesn't quiet understand with the big girls.
We've been so fortunate with the girls' friends so far. They are all really neat kids with great parents. I know at some point it will change, and they'll bring home friends we aren't fond of, so we're enjoying the good times while they last.
The main activity of the evening has been watching The Parent Trap, the original version with Hayley Mills AND Hayley Mills, and the girls have been mesmerized by it. I love that they think this is a cool movie, despite its lack of animation, special effects (unless you count HM sharing scenes with herself), and princesses. They've been cackling at the pranks pulled, and getting some bad ideas, I'm afraid, and guessing what's going to happen next. It's so nice to see that they are still 6 going on 7 instead of 6 going on 13 - at least for tonight.
Lily has been hanging out with the big girls. She considers this just as much her sleepover as Ella's. She isn't quite old enough to understand that she's the pesky little sister in this situation. Fortunately, Ella and M are pretty tolerant of her presence, and her gymnastics on the blow-up mattress in the living room. Lily couldn't still tonight if her life depended on it. B and I have tried to lure her out of the room with promises of one-on-one time with us, but she'd far rather watch a movie she doesn't quiet understand with the big girls.
We've been so fortunate with the girls' friends so far. They are all really neat kids with great parents. I know at some point it will change, and they'll bring home friends we aren't fond of, so we're enjoying the good times while they last.
Friday, September 14, 2007
O happy day!
I have an iPod again! My beloved iPod, which was a second-generation one, purchased two years ago when it was the newest model, has met a slow and painful death. I have a long, troubled history with my iPod, and the one that just died was my third. I had to send the first two back to be replaced, one within two months of my receiving it. This one lasted just over a year before biting the dust. I need to contact customer service about repairing it, but I just haven't gotten around to doing so yet.
For the past few months the iPod would work sporadically. Some days it would function just fine; on others it would lock up after 5 minutes. I could usually jump start it by doing a hard shut down or connecting it to the computer and firing up iTunes. But it eventually got to the point where not even a hard shut down would start it, and the iTunes stopped recognizing it. I think the latest iTunes software is just too advanced for my ancient model iPod.
So while we were at S. Padre, I checked on eBay for iPods. I had heard that lots of people were selling their fifth generation devices because they'd gotten iPhones. It turns out I'd heard correctly - I had more than 200 to bid on. After several tries, I won a fifth generation black iPod with 30GB for $150. Yay.
But then the waiting begain. It took contacting the guy I bought it from 2 times for him to actually ship it. And then he ended up sending it to the wrong address and it was returned to him. Last week I sent him my correct address, and the iPod finally arrived today.
Fortunately Lily and Campbell were in rest time and Ella was at school so I could play with it without being bothered. I've restored the drive and put all my music/books/videos on it and renamed it. I haven't had a chance to watch a video or show on it yet, but I'm looking forward to testing it out.
In the meantime, I will be catching up on all the podcasts that have been collecting while I've been iPod-less. It's been a very long three weeks not having one. I wonder how we ever got along before iPods were invented?
For the past few months the iPod would work sporadically. Some days it would function just fine; on others it would lock up after 5 minutes. I could usually jump start it by doing a hard shut down or connecting it to the computer and firing up iTunes. But it eventually got to the point where not even a hard shut down would start it, and the iTunes stopped recognizing it. I think the latest iTunes software is just too advanced for my ancient model iPod.
So while we were at S. Padre, I checked on eBay for iPods. I had heard that lots of people were selling their fifth generation devices because they'd gotten iPhones. It turns out I'd heard correctly - I had more than 200 to bid on. After several tries, I won a fifth generation black iPod with 30GB for $150. Yay.
But then the waiting begain. It took contacting the guy I bought it from 2 times for him to actually ship it. And then he ended up sending it to the wrong address and it was returned to him. Last week I sent him my correct address, and the iPod finally arrived today.
Fortunately Lily and Campbell were in rest time and Ella was at school so I could play with it without being bothered. I've restored the drive and put all my music/books/videos on it and renamed it. I haven't had a chance to watch a video or show on it yet, but I'm looking forward to testing it out.
In the meantime, I will be catching up on all the podcasts that have been collecting while I've been iPod-less. It's been a very long three weeks not having one. I wonder how we ever got along before iPods were invented?
Movie silliness
Last night B was flipping through the channels when I spotted a scene that looked familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. I made him go back, and when I realized what the movie was, I started laughing. It was Honky Tonk Freeway, quite possibly one of the worst movies ever made. But it also has the distinction of being partially filmed in Sarasota, FL, where I grew up. My mom also worked on the movie, for one night. She was a stand-in for some blonde actress; she thinks it was Beverly D'Angelo. The movie folks painted part of a small town on the outskirts of Sarasota pink and blew up an overpass on the freeway. Fun stuff!
The movie revolves around Ticlaw, a small town that's been bypassed by the freeway. The mayor comes up with plans to lure tourists - painting the town pink, giving away gas, building a sarari park, teaching an elephant to water ski. Finally, he decides to blow up the overpass and route everyone into town. Throughout this we meet various travelers who end up in Ticlaw together. The thing that amazed me, aside from the sheer awfullness, was the cast. It had an amazing cast - Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy (what they did to them at the end was just plain WRONG), Howard Hessman, Terri Garr, William Devane, Beverly D'Angelo, and Daniel Stern, to name a few. It was a virtual who's who of early '80s stars! And it was still terrible.
I called dad and offered to pay him $100 if he could guess the movie we were watching. Of course, he couldn't.
After Honky Tony Freeway, we watched part of Drop Dead Gorgeous, one of my absolute all-time favorite movies - ever. I laugh so hard it hurts through sections of it. Ellen Barkin and Allison Janney have to be the best on-screen pairing ever. They look like they had an absolute blast filming it - and like they were drunk the whole time. The list of ridiculous things goes on and on - the mushroom clouds every time someone blows up, the COPs film crew showing up, the vomiting at the state competition, Allison Janney at the state competition, the deaf baby. It all makes me giggle.
B had never seen Drop Dead Gorgeous before, and I'm not sure he thinks it's as funny as I do, but he was willing to sit through it. I may buy the DVD, just in the hopes of its having a bonus section with out takes. Those would be worth the price of admission alone.
The movie revolves around Ticlaw, a small town that's been bypassed by the freeway. The mayor comes up with plans to lure tourists - painting the town pink, giving away gas, building a sarari park, teaching an elephant to water ski. Finally, he decides to blow up the overpass and route everyone into town. Throughout this we meet various travelers who end up in Ticlaw together. The thing that amazed me, aside from the sheer awfullness, was the cast. It had an amazing cast - Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy (what they did to them at the end was just plain WRONG), Howard Hessman, Terri Garr, William Devane, Beverly D'Angelo, and Daniel Stern, to name a few. It was a virtual who's who of early '80s stars! And it was still terrible.
I called dad and offered to pay him $100 if he could guess the movie we were watching. Of course, he couldn't.
After Honky Tony Freeway, we watched part of Drop Dead Gorgeous, one of my absolute all-time favorite movies - ever. I laugh so hard it hurts through sections of it. Ellen Barkin and Allison Janney have to be the best on-screen pairing ever. They look like they had an absolute blast filming it - and like they were drunk the whole time. The list of ridiculous things goes on and on - the mushroom clouds every time someone blows up, the COPs film crew showing up, the vomiting at the state competition, Allison Janney at the state competition, the deaf baby. It all makes me giggle.
B had never seen Drop Dead Gorgeous before, and I'm not sure he thinks it's as funny as I do, but he was willing to sit through it. I may buy the DVD, just in the hopes of its having a bonus section with out takes. Those would be worth the price of admission alone.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
I knew it
Yesterday morning Lily was just a wreck. She was such a mess that I checked her temperature twice, thinking she was coming down with something. But Lily wans't running a fever.
She cried the whole way to preschool because she wanted me to button her sweater for her. My explanation of the laws of safety and physics and why I couldn't button her sweater AND drive the car had no effect on her. When we got to school she stopped crying, but only because one of her friends had brought a "Baby Cinderella" doll for show and tell. Even though she wasn't crying, she was still pretty listless. I expected to get a call during the morning to come get her because she had started running a fever or something.
For the record, I strictly abide by the no fever for 24 hours rule at both our schools. I get so mad when parents bring kids to school and say, "He was running a fever at bedtime, but he was fine this morning so I brought him in." It's 24 hours, people, not 12! All you've done is brought your child in to infect my child.
Anyway, when I picked her up after lunch she was just fine, singing and twirling and telling me all about her day. She's supposed to start "ballelet" classes again today, so we went on a field trip and bought new tights and a new leotard. My plan was to buy new slippers this morning on our way to class.
But then at bedtime Lily fell apart again - crying because she was coughing and sniffling. I gave her some advil and rubbed her forehead for a while as she nodded off. She woke up a few times in the night, whimpering, but still no fever.
This morning it's a different story. She woke up with a fever of 100.6, which I know will go up during the day. So she's flat on the sofa, watching Little Bear, and being brave about staying home from her first day of ballet.
I knew yesterday morning that illness was on the horizon; my timing was just off a bit
She cried the whole way to preschool because she wanted me to button her sweater for her. My explanation of the laws of safety and physics and why I couldn't button her sweater AND drive the car had no effect on her. When we got to school she stopped crying, but only because one of her friends had brought a "Baby Cinderella" doll for show and tell. Even though she wasn't crying, she was still pretty listless. I expected to get a call during the morning to come get her because she had started running a fever or something.
For the record, I strictly abide by the no fever for 24 hours rule at both our schools. I get so mad when parents bring kids to school and say, "He was running a fever at bedtime, but he was fine this morning so I brought him in." It's 24 hours, people, not 12! All you've done is brought your child in to infect my child.
Anyway, when I picked her up after lunch she was just fine, singing and twirling and telling me all about her day. She's supposed to start "ballelet" classes again today, so we went on a field trip and bought new tights and a new leotard. My plan was to buy new slippers this morning on our way to class.
But then at bedtime Lily fell apart again - crying because she was coughing and sniffling. I gave her some advil and rubbed her forehead for a while as she nodded off. She woke up a few times in the night, whimpering, but still no fever.
This morning it's a different story. She woke up with a fever of 100.6, which I know will go up during the day. So she's flat on the sofa, watching Little Bear, and being brave about staying home from her first day of ballet.
I knew yesterday morning that illness was on the horizon; my timing was just off a bit
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I don't like my children
There, I've said it. I don't like my children, not one little bit. Not today.
Don't get me wrong - I love them more than I can bear and would do anything for them, but today I just can't stand them. They're ganging up on me, and I'm ready to go crazy. And of course, B's not here tonight to help, which makes things worse.
Campbell can't or won't get into a nap routine. It seems like he's ready to switch to one nap, but instead of taking one long one, he takes a 45-minute nap in the morning and then screams when I put him down in the afternoon. Today he screamed for half an hour, despite my going in and patting him every five minutes. I gave up when Ella came home from school and we were invited next door for snack. Campbell was so tired during dinner that I thought he was going to fall asleep in his chair.
The girls have embarked on a whole new level of disrespect. What baffles me about their behavior is that we don't let them get away with back talk and sticking out of tongues and arguing, yet they persist in doing it.
I've gotten very tired of telling them to do something and not getting any acknowledgement of my presence in the room, so B and I are trying to teach them to say yes ma'am and no ma'am to me. It's not going well. I have to remind Ella she's supposed to say it, and when she does Lily just parrots her, giggling.
When I'm giving them instructions, or talking to them about anything serious, I tell the girls to look at me. Their new trick is to turn their faces towards me but to roll their eyes away. I think they think they're following the spirit of the law - they're looking at me, but not really. Or they don't realize that I can clearly see what they're up to. So I stop talking and stare at them until they really look at me. Some conversations take a very long time.
As a result I've turned into Mean, Evil Mom today. The girls' room was such a mess that I didn't even open the shades in there this morning because I didn't want to run the risk of having anyone see in there from the outside. So after playtime at the neighbors' I sent the girls in to clean with the warning that everything left on the floor would be thrown away tomorrow while they were at school. There were many arguments and tears, but I held firm, and their room is pretty clean now. They did a much better job than usual. But I am worn out from being so mean.
Then, after shower, I gave them strict instructions to get on clean night shirts and panties and to brush their teeth. Instead, I had to interrupt a loud game of nudie tag in my bedroom. I started yelling, hoping that the increased noise level would have an affect. Ella hid her face behind her sister's head so she could smirk at me without being seen. Too bad I'm not as stupid as she thinks, because I knew what she was up to.
I don't get it, I really don't. The girls know that B and I mean it when we say there are consequences for behaviors. They know that ugly faces and eye rolls are not tolerated, yet they still do all the things they know they're not supposed to. Ella tested pretty far off the charts for gifted and talented, but she's not acting like it at home. Lily is just a little copy cat, following Ella's lead in behavior, when she's not mauling her brother or hitting her sister on her own.
Because of their behavior, I have just the worst attitude. I'm a little black raincloud looming around the house. It's affecting everything in my life. I got an annoying e-mail from one of the women I'm working on a project with (no Julie and Amy, it's not you), and my immediate reaction was to fire off an angry e-mail asking her why she was being so stupid. But I wisely walked away, gave Campbell a bath and put him to bed before replying in a humorous, self-deprecating way. And it's a good thing I did, because I'm the one who caused the mix-up, and the co-worker's e-mail, instead of being annoying, was a real attempt to solve a problem I'd created. Sigh.
I had to grit my teeth and read bedtime stories to two children who don't deserve them, even though they finally did what I'd asked and I didn't have to drop the ultimate hammer on them. Oddly enough, both girls have picked stories about naughty children. Lily has selected the Berenstain Bears and the Messy Room, and Ella has picked Missy Piggle Wiggle, which is all about messy, rude children. I asked Lily why she picked the book she did and she said it was because they had had a messy room, too. Then I talked to them both about how disappointed I was in their behavior and asked if they had little girls who had behaved as badly as they had, would they want to read them stories. Both said they wouldn't. I asked if I should read to them, and they both said yes please. Maybe I taught them something tonight. Maybe tomorrow's behavior will be better. Maybe this was the dark before the dawn of perfect children.
Maybe. But I'm not holding my breath.
Don't get me wrong - I love them more than I can bear and would do anything for them, but today I just can't stand them. They're ganging up on me, and I'm ready to go crazy. And of course, B's not here tonight to help, which makes things worse.
Campbell can't or won't get into a nap routine. It seems like he's ready to switch to one nap, but instead of taking one long one, he takes a 45-minute nap in the morning and then screams when I put him down in the afternoon. Today he screamed for half an hour, despite my going in and patting him every five minutes. I gave up when Ella came home from school and we were invited next door for snack. Campbell was so tired during dinner that I thought he was going to fall asleep in his chair.
The girls have embarked on a whole new level of disrespect. What baffles me about their behavior is that we don't let them get away with back talk and sticking out of tongues and arguing, yet they persist in doing it.
I've gotten very tired of telling them to do something and not getting any acknowledgement of my presence in the room, so B and I are trying to teach them to say yes ma'am and no ma'am to me. It's not going well. I have to remind Ella she's supposed to say it, and when she does Lily just parrots her, giggling.
When I'm giving them instructions, or talking to them about anything serious, I tell the girls to look at me. Their new trick is to turn their faces towards me but to roll their eyes away. I think they think they're following the spirit of the law - they're looking at me, but not really. Or they don't realize that I can clearly see what they're up to. So I stop talking and stare at them until they really look at me. Some conversations take a very long time.
As a result I've turned into Mean, Evil Mom today. The girls' room was such a mess that I didn't even open the shades in there this morning because I didn't want to run the risk of having anyone see in there from the outside. So after playtime at the neighbors' I sent the girls in to clean with the warning that everything left on the floor would be thrown away tomorrow while they were at school. There were many arguments and tears, but I held firm, and their room is pretty clean now. They did a much better job than usual. But I am worn out from being so mean.
Then, after shower, I gave them strict instructions to get on clean night shirts and panties and to brush their teeth. Instead, I had to interrupt a loud game of nudie tag in my bedroom. I started yelling, hoping that the increased noise level would have an affect. Ella hid her face behind her sister's head so she could smirk at me without being seen. Too bad I'm not as stupid as she thinks, because I knew what she was up to.
I don't get it, I really don't. The girls know that B and I mean it when we say there are consequences for behaviors. They know that ugly faces and eye rolls are not tolerated, yet they still do all the things they know they're not supposed to. Ella tested pretty far off the charts for gifted and talented, but she's not acting like it at home. Lily is just a little copy cat, following Ella's lead in behavior, when she's not mauling her brother or hitting her sister on her own.
Because of their behavior, I have just the worst attitude. I'm a little black raincloud looming around the house. It's affecting everything in my life. I got an annoying e-mail from one of the women I'm working on a project with (no Julie and Amy, it's not you), and my immediate reaction was to fire off an angry e-mail asking her why she was being so stupid. But I wisely walked away, gave Campbell a bath and put him to bed before replying in a humorous, self-deprecating way. And it's a good thing I did, because I'm the one who caused the mix-up, and the co-worker's e-mail, instead of being annoying, was a real attempt to solve a problem I'd created. Sigh.
I had to grit my teeth and read bedtime stories to two children who don't deserve them, even though they finally did what I'd asked and I didn't have to drop the ultimate hammer on them. Oddly enough, both girls have picked stories about naughty children. Lily has selected the Berenstain Bears and the Messy Room, and Ella has picked Missy Piggle Wiggle, which is all about messy, rude children. I asked Lily why she picked the book she did and she said it was because they had had a messy room, too. Then I talked to them both about how disappointed I was in their behavior and asked if they had little girls who had behaved as badly as they had, would they want to read them stories. Both said they wouldn't. I asked if I should read to them, and they both said yes please. Maybe I taught them something tonight. Maybe tomorrow's behavior will be better. Maybe this was the dark before the dawn of perfect children.
Maybe. But I'm not holding my breath.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Mom's tall tales
My mom has a genius for telling stories about horrible accidents that cause the death of a friend of a friend. I thought my mom was the only one who told these stories, but the more I talk to friends about their mothers, the more I realize it seems to be a mom trait.
One friend told me how her mother, or was it her mother-in-law, told her to never knit in the car because someone she knew was knitting while riding in the car and died when they were in a crash and the knitting needle stabbed her. She also told my friend never to carry a punch bowl in her lap because she heard about this bride who was riding in the car on the way to her wedding/reception holding a punch bowl. Of course, she was in a crash and died, on her wedding day, because a shard of glass from the punch bowl pierced her heart.
Heidi's mom tells tales, too. But Heidi named my mom the winner after two recent stories. A few weeks ago Ella and I were riding on the inner tube up at the lake when B whipped us across the wake. Ella and I both went flying. When I told mom, she got pretty upset at B for driving the boat recklessly. A few days later, she called to tell me about a friend of a friend who was at the beach and leaned over to pick up a shell. While he was bent over, he got hit by a rogue wave that knocked him over and broke his neck. He died. It is tragic, really. I feel awful for his family and friends, I really do. But I had to laugh at mom for telling the story as an illustration of why B shouldn't have sent me and Ella flying off the tube.
Today I took mom and dad to Ella's school so we could join her for lunch. As we were leaving, mom commented on the signs about how the school is doing things for the environment. Then she told me about a friend of a friend who went out to turn her compost heap, which had some rare spores in it that got released and she inhaled them. And she died. I groaned. Dad asked if she had been returned to the compost heap to join the decomposition cycle.
There have been other stories - kids who climbed into dishwashers and poked their eyes out on the things that stick up (she has told me that story with each kid), kids who swallow refrigerator magnets and get horribly sick, kids who poke their eyes out with knitting needles and get horrible infections and have to wear eye patches for the rest of their lives. Or was that last one just her fear of what will happen to Campbell if Lily leaves her knitting needles out? I can't remember.
I'm putting out a call for stories - has your mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, etc. told you a cautionary tale that ended with someone's death? I'd love to hear one that beats mom's two stories.
Sorry mom, I just can't help myself on this one.
One friend told me how her mother, or was it her mother-in-law, told her to never knit in the car because someone she knew was knitting while riding in the car and died when they were in a crash and the knitting needle stabbed her. She also told my friend never to carry a punch bowl in her lap because she heard about this bride who was riding in the car on the way to her wedding/reception holding a punch bowl. Of course, she was in a crash and died, on her wedding day, because a shard of glass from the punch bowl pierced her heart.
Heidi's mom tells tales, too. But Heidi named my mom the winner after two recent stories. A few weeks ago Ella and I were riding on the inner tube up at the lake when B whipped us across the wake. Ella and I both went flying. When I told mom, she got pretty upset at B for driving the boat recklessly. A few days later, she called to tell me about a friend of a friend who was at the beach and leaned over to pick up a shell. While he was bent over, he got hit by a rogue wave that knocked him over and broke his neck. He died. It is tragic, really. I feel awful for his family and friends, I really do. But I had to laugh at mom for telling the story as an illustration of why B shouldn't have sent me and Ella flying off the tube.
Today I took mom and dad to Ella's school so we could join her for lunch. As we were leaving, mom commented on the signs about how the school is doing things for the environment. Then she told me about a friend of a friend who went out to turn her compost heap, which had some rare spores in it that got released and she inhaled them. And she died. I groaned. Dad asked if she had been returned to the compost heap to join the decomposition cycle.
There have been other stories - kids who climbed into dishwashers and poked their eyes out on the things that stick up (she has told me that story with each kid), kids who swallow refrigerator magnets and get horribly sick, kids who poke their eyes out with knitting needles and get horrible infections and have to wear eye patches for the rest of their lives. Or was that last one just her fear of what will happen to Campbell if Lily leaves her knitting needles out? I can't remember.
I'm putting out a call for stories - has your mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, etc. told you a cautionary tale that ended with someone's death? I'd love to hear one that beats mom's two stories.
Sorry mom, I just can't help myself on this one.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)