A letter to Hoover Vacuums

In the spirit of Lazlo Toth, I’m sending a letter out in hopes of getting a letter back.

Dear Hoover Vacuums -

Two summers ago, I visited my parents’ house and had the chance to use their Hoover Cordless LiNX vacuum. And I fell in love with it. Six months later, my mother came for a visit and bought me one of your vacuums.

At first, I was thrilled and raved about the vacuum to anyone who would listen. I could vacuum from one end of the house without having to mess with cords and plugs, and I could switch from carpet to floors with the flip of a switch.

But the more I used your vacuum, the more its little “quirks” began to bother me. Mainly, the thing jams constantly. I can’t vacuum for more than 10 minutes without having to unjam the hole between the base of the vacuum and the chute to the canister. I can’t vacuum even small things like Cheerios or goldfish crackers without having the vacuum get clogged. So now I either have to crush the Cheerios and goldfish into dust before vacuuming them or pick them all up before cleaning – which kind of defeats the purpose of having a vacuum. Don’t even get me started to what the little plastic sleeves from juice box straws do to it.

Lest you think I’m abusing the vacuum or asking it to do more than it was meant for – I live in a 1500 sq ft house with carpet in only one room, and we don’t have any pets. This place should be easy peasey for any vacuum. My 12-year-old Eureka vac gets along just fine.

For the 18 months that I’ve owned the thing, I’ve struggled along with it, dealing with the constant jams and messes that come from unjamming it. But last week was the final straw. The charger for the battery has taken on a life of its own. It refuses to charge the battery, and it blinks its cheerful blue light regardless of whether the battery is in its slot.

So now my vacuum sits idle and unloved, banished to the garage.

Why am I writing this letter? To let you know how disappointed I am in your product. I expect a cheap vacuum to function like yours has. Your vacuum, while not in the Dyson range, was far from cheap. It should be able to, at the very least, vacuum my house. And the battery charger shouldn’t break.

I am requesting a replacement vacuum that doesn’t jam every five minutes and a battery charger or a refund of the purchase price so that I can go buy a vacuum that actually works.

I look forward to hearing from you.

hokgardner