Esprit d'escalier

or Spirit of the Staircase. It's the French term, probably spelled incorrectly, for the perfect retort to something someone said to you that you think of when you're on your way up the stairs to bed, far too late to actually use the response.

I had that kind of a moment yesterday. I had ordered pictures of the kids from Ofoto and had them printed at the CVS on Guadalupe so that I could use one of the prints for my m-i-l's birthday present. I stopped in at the CVS on the way home from fetching Lily, so I had all three kids with me. The photo counter had a self-serve (and why does every store feel the need to let us serve ourselves? I do enough serving of others around the house. I go to stores so someone else can do things for me, for a change) basket, but I didn't find my pictures in it. So I gathered a few items and stood in line with three impatient kids while the apparently only employee in the store slowly rang up people's purchases.

When it was finally our turn, I asked if she could look for the pictures for me. She drifted over to the photo counter and rummaged around for a moment before remembering that she didn't know what name to be looking for. After poking around for another moment, she came back and told me she didn't know where they were and that I'd have to come back later when the manager was in the store - he was out on a coffee break. My jaw literally dropped. I asked for the store number, paid for my purchases and left, trailing kids and muttered curses behind me.

A few hours later I called and asked for the manager, who put me on hold for ages so that he could look for the photos. He finally told me they were ready and that I was free to come by any time and ask for him so I could pick them up. I drove over to the store, fuming. When I arrived, the manager, Ben, was sitting in the photo lab doing nothing but twirling slowly in the spinny chair even though there was a line of customers at the check-out register.

After he handed me my pictures, I thanked him through gritted teeth and he responded, "No problem at all!" You know the scene in "High Fidelity" when John Cusak fantasizes that he punches Tim Robbins in the face and one of his staff members clobbers Robbins with the cash register? That's what I envisioned doing to the guy. So I stomped out before I really did throw a punch.

About halfway home, the perfect response came to me. Here's what I should have said:

No problem? Of course it wasn't a problem for you. You're just sitting there twirling in a chair. It was a HUGE problem for me. I had to make two trips here, once with three kids in tow, because apparently you're such a lousy manager that you can't provide quality customer service. Instead of telling me it wasn't a problem, how about thanking me for coming back and apologizing profusely for the the problem that you caused.

But of course, it was too late for that. And I wouldn't have been able to deliver the speech in anything resembling a calm, rational manner. I would have ended up screaming and cursing. So instead I vented to B when I got home. And now I'm blogging about Ben, the horrible manager.

But to all you reading this in Austin - stay away from the CVS on Guadalupe and 29th!

The knitting project, part I

My mom has become a "knitter." She goes to knitting group on Thursday and on field trips to fancy button stores with fellow knitters. We have reaped the benefit of her obsession/hobby in tons of sweaters for the kids. She loved seeing the socks she knit for me posted, so I thought I'd show some of the other things she's done, a few at a time. I think blogger would get upset if I posted them all at once. Plus, some are in storage in Campbell's room, and he's asleep for the night and I can't get to them. She knit the first of these stockings for me when I was little, and she's made dozens since then - for my sister, for our cousins, for Brandon, for all the grandkids. One aunt had so many kids that mom couldn't keep up and just sent her the pattern after she finished the stocking for baby 5.This was Lily's first sweater; she wore it home from the hospital with a little hat I made to match. I'm not taking a picture of the hat because it looks so amateur compared to mom's work.
For a long time this was Ella's favorite sweater because of the polka-dots on the buttons. She was really upset when she grew out of it and Lily was able to start wearing it. The newest version is in Campbell's room, so I'll have to add a picture of that one later.
I'm afraid Ella loved this sweater to death. It's showing the wear and tear. If you go to the large version of the picture and squint at the lower left corner, you can see that mom knit EG into the pattern of the sweater. Ella absolutely loved that it had her initials, especially once Lily was born. Ella knew that she'd never have to share the sweater with Lily because she didn't have the right intials.

Enough for now. Mom, I'll keep posting a few at a time, and you can show your knitting friends.

I quit

Today was one of those days that I really hate my job of stay-at-home mother of three. It really was one for the record books.

First I missed Wednesday morning running because of the after-effects of a migraine last night. Then Campbell woke up on the wrong side of the planet and nothing made him happy. The first of many rounds with Ella ended well, but after that things deteriorated - especially after she jumped on her brother's head after climbing a door frame. I sent her to her room so I could calm down and get Campbell settled. But that sent her into hysterics about how unfair I was for sending to her room for accidentally jumping on her brother. Nevermind that we've told her time and again she's not allowed to climb door frames when Campbell's on the loose. While I was trying to explain things to her, she threw a lovie at me, which got her sent into time out, leading to more hysterics.

After getting jumped on, Campbell was just plain miserable for hours. He whimpered regardless of whether he was in my lap on the sofa or if we were sitting on the floor playing with toys. Even nursing him didn't help. His crankiness lasted until his bath time, when he perked up considerably.

While I was picking up Lily from school my iPod died, again. I'll probably have to send it back to HP, again. This will be the third time I've had to send it back for replacement. And because it's an iPod + HP, I can't just take it to the Apple store. They won't touch it because it has HP software on it, or so a snippy 19-year-old informed me the first time the thing broke. If I didn't love my iPod so much it wouldn't be so bad, but I've gotten used to not having to listen to radio stations.

As I was messing with my iPod, refereeing the girls and attempting to soothe Campbell, B told me he has to go to Mexico City for a meeting about the development project in San Miguel de Allende. It wouldn't be a big deal except for the timing. I'll have to drive down to South Padre for our annual beach tip with the kids and pick B up at the airport in Harlingen on the way. Sigh. I'm not looking forward to 6 hours in the car with three kids and no reinforcements.

Dinner was the final straw. I actually cooked a meal tonight instead of just heating something up. As I was getting ready to plate everything up, B strolled out dressed in work clothes. He claims he told me that he had a 6:00 meeting, but I have no memory of it. So I plated up dinner for me and the girls, but of course Campbell was ready to go to bed. So I left the girls at the table while I nursed the baby. Ella and Lily both came into the living room to tell me they didn't like dinner, which was roasted chicken, wild rice and steamed broccoli, not exactly exotic fare. I spent the afternoon cooking a dinner that no one but me ate, and mine was cold by the time I got to eat it.

The girls are in their jammies, teeth brushed and ready for stories. Campbell's in his crib slowly winding down. I'm dreading the evening ahead; I have hours of work ahead because it was impossible to work during the day.

I think I'm ready to resign my job.

Being a mom means having to say "I'm sorry."

I'm learning as a mom is that it's ok to admit to the kids when I'm wrong and to say "I'm sorry" to them. Doing this has really made a difference in my relationship with Ella. I've discovered that when I apologize to her for something, she's more likely to do the same when she does something wrong.

This has been tough for me. I think it's human nature to defend your actions no matter what, even if you have been dead wrong about something - our president is a prime example. It's also in my nature to get completely stubborn about things and refuse to back down. But sometimes Ella is right that I'm not being fair to her or that I've done something that I shouldn't have.

This morning was a good example. I told Ella not to do something, and she looked at me and did it anyway. So I sent her to timeout. I stand completely by that decision. Later, I found a note from Ella on my desk asking why I don't put Lily in timeout every time she hits, kicks or pinches her. My immediate reaction was to argue that I can't put Lily in timeout each time because it happens so often - Lily would spend her entire life in timeout - and because often Lily does stuff while we're out in public or in the car, when it's impossible to put her in timeout.

But instead of arguing with Ella about this, I took a deep breath and a step back and switched courses. I wrote a note back that said, "You're right. I don't do a good job of putting Lily in timeout each time she hits, pinches or kicks you. I'm sorry. I love you."

Lily delivered the note to Ella, who came out and gave me a big hug. Sometimes sorry really is the best thing to say.

Another first

Ever since Ella and then Lily were born, I've looked forward to two things: running a race with them and running while they ride their bike next to me. I've run races with both girls - the Daisy 5K last Mother's Day and the Jingle Bell run this past winter. I cried crossing the finish line with them both times. Heck, I cried most of time I was running the races with them. It made me so incredibly happy to share my love of running with them.

This morning I celebrated another first. Ella has finally figured out how to ride her bike without training wheels. She's been close for so long but just lacked the confidence. Two weeks ago B took her up to the parking lot at our neighborhood school and turned her loose. Once she didn't have to worry about riding off the sidewalk or hitting bushes or cars, she took off. He said she rode up there for close to an hour. Now that she can ride, I get asked, "Can I ride my bike?" at least 10 times a day.

So this morning I decided I'd take Ella down to the Trail and let her go for a ride. I put Campbell in the jogger and off we went. Ella did a super job of staying on the right side of the trail and passing people very carefully. Before we started out, I talked to her about the rules of the road to make sure she wasn't one of those kids who plows over runners. She took the lessons to heart and was very, very careful.

She rode 2 1/2 miles without a problem. Although, at the end she did say her legs were tired. She came home and ate a huge snack and chugged a ton of water and then asked if she could ride her bike around the block. I wish I had half her energy.

But I was so thrilled to be out there running with Ella riding ahead of me. I love that I can teach her to lead a healthy lifestyle and share my love of running and the Trail. Plus it seems like just yesterday she was riding in the jogger while I ran. But now here she is, leaving me in her dust.

This one's for you, mom

Mom has taken up knitting socks, and she sent me the first pair she made. She called and left a message commenting that she hadn't seen any pictures of my socks, a la another blogger who takes pictures of all the socks she knits.

So mom, here you go. A picture of my lovely socks.

A day of great bravery

Bravery of the little kid kind, that is.

We spent yesterday at the lake with friends, which was wonderful, as always. I love watching all the kids floating around in the water on their noodles, screeching every time a boat makes huge waves for them.

Several notable things happened yesterday, though, that made it particularly memorable.

First, Lily, who isn't the biggest fan of the water, decided that she loved being in the lake. It started out when she agreed to let me swim her over to the big raft that's anchored off the dock. I grabbed a noodle and we paddled over to the raft together, but there was a line of kids waiting to clambor on, so we floated around for a while. She had a death grip on me and the noodle, but she was out there, floating around, without screaming her head off. She just got braver from there. I looked up at one point to see her floating around in Daniel's little inflatable boat with Jean at the helm. Later, she was out on a raft with Granddaddy. Then she discovered that she could hold onto the raft Brandon was lounging on and make it move by kicking. By the end of the day we had to drag her out of the water. She was crying that she wanted to swim some more. Such a change from last time we were at the lake and she wouldn't even get in the water.

Molly had a similar day. Usually she is content to hang out in the hammock with Lily or splash in Campbell's little pool on the dock. But yesterday she floated around in the water on a raft with her mom. It was so cool to see both her and Lily make such a giant leap in their comfort with the water.

Finally, Luke surprised the heck out of us all. Back in June he started copying Ella's giant leaps out to the floating raft - about 4 feet from the dock. Lisa was stunned that he had attempted it - he's not really a risk taker. Now he jumps to the raft without even thinking about it. A few weeks after that, he worked his way up to jumping off the diving board without someone below to catch him. Lisa and I were talking about whether Luke would ever follow Ella's example in jumping off the roof of the dock. Lisa just didn't think he would. But towards the end of the day, I looked up to see Luke and Ella up on the roof. Ella counted to three and jumped. Luke hesitated for a moment and then went for it. Lisa was helping Molly with something and missed the great event. Fortunately, Luke gave a repeat performance.

I am so proud of all the kids for the progress they're making at the lake, but especially these three yesterday. We'll have a whole little tribe of water rats by the time the summer is over.

One good trip, one bad.

On Tuesday (or was it Wednesday? I can't remember), Liz kindly invited us to join her at their neighborhood pool, which is a great one for kids. It has a very shallow beach area that Lily loves because she can touch the bottom while bravely putting her face in the water and I can sit and hold my hands out for her to glide to me - which involves her getting so close to me that she sort of just jumps into my hands rather than actually gliding. It also has a deep side that Ella loves because she can throw her diving rings and swim down to get them. We spent a lot of afternoons at that pool last summer and had a lot of fun. So I figured we'd do just fine on Tuesday.

Not so much.

I've taken all three kids swimming by myself once before, but it was at Shelly's in-law's house, not a public, crowded pool. Things went ok that day because it was easy to keep an eye on Ella as she swam all over the place and because Shelly's mother-in-law was there helping with the little ones.

Tuesday, or maybe it was Wednesday, was a disaster. It took forever to get everyone sunblocked and in the water. And just as I got Campbell's floaty-boat blown up and him in it, the lifeguards blew the whistle for their ten-minute break. So I dragged everyone out and plied them with snacks.

When we got back in, I put Campbell in his boat, which he decided he didn't like after about five minutes. Then Ella wanted me to go in the deep end with her, but Lily decided she needed to cling to me while we were in the deep water. I had Campbell in his boat, but the only way he wouldn't cry was if I had my arm around him from underneath, which sort of defeated the point of the boat. After five minutes I dragged everyone back to the shallow end, with much protesting from Ella.

I put Campbell in the stroller in the shade and let him have rice cakes, even though they had caramel on them, just to keep him happy. I played with Lily, clapping when she glided to me. Then we went back to the deep end with Ella for a while. Things went ok like that until Ella and Lily discovered that they could a. fit in Campbell's boat, and b. actually float in it. Sharing the boat quickly turned into arguing over who had the longer turn in the boat.

That's when I decided to call it a day. It was just too hard, even with Liz and Shannon there for support. I spent the drive home trying not to cry in frustration. I've gotten quite adept at going places with three kids, so it's hard when I find myself in a situation where I can't cope. I descend into a pity party, thinking about how I'll never be able to go the pool, or the park, or breakfast with friends ever, ever again. I know that's not really the case, but it's hard to remember that in the midst of great chaos and fighting.

Today I decided that I needed to get back on the horse and try again to take all three kids someplace. I heard through the running grapevine that Nordstrom had running shorts on sale.
I had a Nordstrom gift card left from my birthday, so I became determined to brave the mall. I promised the girls cookies if they behaved. And miracle of miracles, they did. I was able to get running shorts and a shirt from Nordstrom. Then we bought cookies to eat on the ride home. We also went to Bath & Body Works to get shampoo for the girls. We have nightly fights over shampooing, and I figured that maybe we'd have fewer fights if Ella and Lily got to pick out their own shampoo. We now have apple-scented American Girl brand shampoo. We'll see how tonight's bath goes.

Things went great until we pulled onto our street, then all hell broke loose. Ella was doing something that Lily didn't like, so Lily bit Ella's finger, hard enough to almost draw blood. So Ella started screaming in pain. Lily started screaming when I told her she had to go into the "time out" corner as soon as we got in the house. Campbell started screaming because his sisters were screaming. Sigh.

Despite the bad end to the trip, I felt much better about my life as a mother of three when we got home. I proved to myself that I really am capable of taking all three kids out in the world successfully. I'm not destined to be a shut-in until all three kids are in school full time.

Scenes from yesterday

Scene 1: I'm on the phone with my mother. Lily comes running in.

L: Mom, mom, mom!
H: Not now. I'm on the phone.
L: But I need to tell you something!
H: Lily, I'll talk to in a minute when I'm off the phone.
L: But Campbell's splashing in the potty!
H: $(*%(&#_)*( Is there pee in the potty?
L: Yes. But no poop.
H: $(*@(*$%
Gran: Hysterical laughter

Scene 2: Running around trying to get three kids in the car.

H: Ella, after we take Lily to school Miss Kristen is coming over to stay with you and Campbell while I'm at a work meeting.
E: Yay. We can listen to Joe McDermott while Miss Kristen's here!
H: Oh I bet Miss Kristen will just LOVE that.
Pause
E: I don't think you meant "love" in the good way.
H: Nope, I sure didn't.

Cooling my heels . . . literally

After years and years of injury-free running, I may be out of commission for a while. I've got plantar fasciitis, and it sucks. Every other time I've had to take a break from running, it's been a result of something other than an injury - asthma, migraines, pregnancy. I guess it was time for me to be sidelined, but it sucks that it happened just as I was getting back into a groove.

I first noticed a problem a few weeks ago; by the end of the day my heels would be throbbing. It felt like I'd been in high-heels all day instead of my Keens. I asked Liz and mom about PF since they've both had it, mom badly enough to need surgery, but they both said their pain was worse first thing in the morning. So I figured my pain was due to being on my feet a lot.

Things got much worse though. I especially noticed the pain when I was up with Campbell in the middle of the night during our week of Ferberizing (which is going much better now). I'd get up to check on Campbell and end up hobbling to the front of the house.

So I switched to wearing my Birks and my Danskos, both of which have good arch support. I started stretching obsessively and icing the bottoms of my feet with a frozen water bottle. I even took a week off running. I thought things were better, so I went running this morning. Part-way through the run, as we were running backwards up the spiral ramp at Lamar, I felt something in my right foot pop, and I spent the rest of the run in pain.

I'll continue icing and stretching and not wearing my super-cute new shoes and take the next two days off. My goal is to be able to run with Liz on Saturday. Of course, with all the time I'm taking off, I may not be able to even remotely keep up with her.